My own predictions 2011

Now that we have finally recovered from the New Year's Day festivities, we can start thinking about the rest of the year. It’s too late to make New Year’s resolutions, besides I’ve probably already broken them anyway
My own predictions...Who says life is more exciting when you don’t know what’s going to happen? Bring on the predictions and prophecies!!!

1. Justin Beiber will finally hit puberty, causing the music industry to bring castration back into fashion. It will be too late to save his voice. He will sound like a white Barry White.

2. Angelina Jolie will turn out to be a lesbian increasing her popularity with males by 6000%. In a surprising turn of events, she will marry Jennifer Aniston.

3. Ricky Martin will admit that coming out of the closet was just an elaborate hoax to increase Google searches of his name and will try to reverse his image in an attempt to re-sell records to prepubescent teenagers. We will all reject this, because he really is TOTALLY gay.

4. Chris Rock will finally admit that he is not funny. This will be the first and last time anyone laughs at  him

5. In a wardrobe malfunction, Oprah will cut her face with a sharp object revealing her black skin color to be just a mask and that she is actually a white suburban woman from Connecticut. She will give out gifts to keep this a secret.

6. Tupac will be spotted in Kenya rapping in a Swahili hip-hop festival. Elvis and Biggy will attend his concert.