Thru My Experience 3 ridiculous excuse to- end- bad -date

Being on a bad date is a bit like water torture. You feel like you're slowly suffocating and all you want is for it to be over. If you schedule a long complex date, bailing out gracefully becomes tougher. That is why on a first date, it makes sense to do something that gives you plenty of opportunities to escape if things go sour. Regardless, one thing you will need to do is a bit of acting because the most important thing you'll need to do is sell it....

1. Pretend you are a covert spy that has just blown their cover.

Start anxiously looking around, clasp your hands together, lean in and say, "I think my cover is blown. You need to get out of here now. You can't go home, that's the first place they'll look. Rent a motel in CASH so as to avoid being traced; sit there, and wait for me. Stay away from the windows and don't order room service!" Then run off and punch a waiter in the face on the way out to add credibility to your story.

2. Dog emergency.

This is a good one for ladies since they are more likely to make many mundane references to things their dog has done during the course of the week (that nobody is interested in). Tell your date you just got a text from your neighbor claiming that they witnessed suspicious behavior from your dog who was collecting a series of ingredients, suggesting it was attempting to bake a chocolate almond cake. They deemed it necessary to contact you once they saw it turn up the oven to 480 degrees. Finally, get up and say, "I thought I told it to bake the cake on 350, it will ruin everything!!" Conclude by storming out.

3. Align yourself with Terrorism.

If it is going really bad and you are desperate, nothing will turn your date off more than you aligning yourself with terroristic activity. Mention that you have a 6"9 uncle that lives in the caves in Afghanistan and that you send him money every month to help run his kidney dialysis machine. Then, tell your date what you'd have done differently if you did the 911 hijacking. Finally, get up and say you have to deliver a backpack to an unknown location on the 9:15pm Number 1 MBTA Bus. Whilst there is almost 100% certainty that you will be arrested, beaten and possibly killed, at least you will end your awful date.